Wish… Ch.5

SPOV

I hate this. I hate being so wrapped up in my own misery that I fear l may have lost myself. I hate that I just can’t seem to be able to rise above these relentless memories. I hate feeling this gut wrenching guilt. I hate seeing clear pity shining at me from my friends and family’s eyes. It’s all too much and I feel as though I’m breaking. I’ve always prided myself on my own personal strength, on my ability to always spring back, no matter the severity of the situation, but I’m beginning to fear this might be the thing that finally succeeds in breaking me for good.

A loud pop suddenly finds me sitting upright on the couch, my brows jutting up in surprise before my gaze is met by a familiar, friendly face. Niall. He’s back and now I feel even more guilt, hating the way we left things between us all those months ago. If only I had listened, if only I hadn’t been so rash in sending him away when he was only trying to help.

“Sookie,” Niall remarks, his voice is soft and laced with obvious concern as he stands frozen before me, seeming almost fearful to approach me further.

“Grandfather,” I manage to choke out just before welling tears are springing from my eyes. “I’m so sorry, so, so sorry,” I find myself sobbing out as comforting arms wrap themselves around me, providing the anchor I so desperately need, as my malaise is surely strong enough by now to pull me under.

“Shh, sweet grandchild, I’m here, you’re not alone, never alone,” Niall assures me, allowing me to break down in his embrace. The two of us sit this way for a time, my grandfather whispering soft assurances until my weeping finally quiets, having found solace in his arms, in his reassuring words.

“Wow, I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to lose it on you like that,” I finally remark, sitting up only to receive a soft smile from my grandfather as he reaches up to brush away lingering tears from my face.

“I’m only glad to know I could be here for you, Granddaughter mine,” he remarks softly to earn a grateful smile from me. “I’m also glad to see your anger with me seems to have finally dissipated,” he adds and I can only offer a weak smile in turn, knowing he’s right.

“Uh, yeah, about that,” I start with a sigh, my shameful gaze lowering to my now fidgeting fingers. “I know I reacted rather harshly, but I really have thought over what you told me,” I assure him, before his hand is covering my own to leave me raising my gaze.

“I know the truth has been hard for you to accept,” he admits, his eyes shining with sympathy. “But it was a truth you needed to hear and one you needed some time to come to terms with,” he adds, earning a light nod from me.

“Yeah,” I whisper softly, knowing only too well just how desperately my stubborn nature left me shying away from the harsh truths he enlightened me to.

“You’re finally free of the vampires hold and yet you’re deeply saddened,” Niall remarks then, his head tilting thoughtfully. “Tell me, Granddaughter, what is it that weighs so heavily upon you?” he questions, bringing a small frown to my face.

“I know you can read my thoughts, Niall,” I answer back somewhat tersely, earning only a gallant shrug in turn.

“This may very well be true, but fragments of memories and contradicting emotions can only enlighten me to so much,” he explains to leave me sighing loudly, my mind already spinning as I’m left trying to transform my racing thoughts into logical words.

“It’s Eric,” I finally admit, never having admitted this aloud to anyone these past months. “He’s been on my mind constantly, Grandfather, haunting my every thought, even in dreams. It’s enough to drive me absolutely crazy and I just can’t understand why this is happening,” I explain miserably, seeing my faerie grandfather intently absorbing my every word.

“I see,” he states thoughtfully. “And this makes you feel guilty?” he questions, managing to deepen my frown.

“I, well, I didn’t always treat him the greatest,” I admit. “We were together for a time and we were happy, really happy actually, but I-, God, I pushed him away, Niall. He offered to stay and I just walked away. Why would I do that? And why is it that I grieve his loss only now that I’ve lost him for good? I just don’t get it!” I exclaim, the frustration that’s been building for months now finally spilling over.

“I suppose I should have known this would happen,” Niall remarks then, his words managing to instantly catch my complete attention. “There is much I’ve left to teach you,” he admits, sending me a sympathetic smile whilst lifting his palm before our faces. “Do you know the true source of a Fae’s light?” he questions then, a bright glowing orb alighting over his palm as I’m left pinching my brow in puzzlement, wondering where on earth he’s going with this.

“Um, no?” I answer, watching as he proceeds to absently roll the glowing orb between his palms, his eyes taking on an airy visage.

“It’s a rather remarkable phenomenon, really,” he states, a small smile forming over his lips. “You remember when we spoke of magic, Granddaughter?” he questions then, earning a nod from me.

“Of course,” I answer readily, his words echoing through my mind. ‘There’s magic in the ordinary, Sook. There’s magic in the things we can see. Birth is a miracle, love is a miracle, death is a miracle, forgiveness is a miracle, especially if you can learn to forgive yourself.’

“That’s exactly right,” he answers back, obviously having shared that particular memory with me. “But there’s more to it than that, something I suppose I should have explained, though, I suppose there’s no time like the present,” he adds with a wistful smile to leave me sending him an inquiring gaze. “Your light is an extension of yourself, something you unconsciously feed and that feeds you in turn,” he explains.

“Feed? But what feeds our light? And if this is the case, why is my own light nearly depleted?” I question, seeing Niall’s smile melt away as he hits me with a solemn gaze.

“Love, Sookie, our light craves it, is nourished by it and in turn, we can only feel fulfilled once we’re able to sustain it adequately,” he states, absorbing his light once more to leave me gaping at him, realization starting to set in.

“Oh,” is the only way I can answer as the pieces begin to fall into place. My light has literally been starved of love, the love I thought I had felt having been nothing more than an illusion, an alluring lie. This explains everything, the way I’ve been figuratively fading away these last few months, unable to find any sense of fulfillment, it’s all on account of my light; it’s as if my very life force is fading away right along with it.

“We tried to warn you, Claudia and I,” Niall whispers then. “We told you Bill would steal your light from you, but perhaps if we had better explained what that truly meant, you might have stood a chance,” he adds, sending me a rather sheepish gaze.

“I wouldn’t have listened, I never did,” I find myself answering, knowing just how true those words really are as Niall is left having to nod his agreement. “Bill knew,” I state then, my jaw ticking in anger. “He fucking knew and he wanted me to throw it away entirely, that fucking bastard,” I spit out, hearing Niall sigh softly beside me.

“You understand now why I disapproved of him so greatly?” my grandfather asks to earn a scoff of disgust from me, suddenly understanding perfectly just why he felt the way he did about my ex.

“Why though? Why was he so insistent I drain myself of my light? And why in God’s name did he want me to obliterate him with it?” I question, seeing dark menace shine briefly behind my grandfather’s pale eyes.

“I believe his ultimate goal was to win your love through force,” Niall grits out, his fists clenching in ire. “Little did he know, our light is not so easily fooled and instead he managed only to slowly drain you of your light, nearly succeeding in depleting you entirely. He kept at it though, right up until the very end and we’re only lucky his own humanity finally took him over when it did,” he sighs out.

“And if he had been successful?” I question anxiously. “What would have become of me if I had truly fallen in love with him?”

“You recall the way Russell and Eric were able to survive the sun after drinking from you?” he questions, earning a nod from me. “Your blood protected them but a few minutes, but, luckily unbeknownst to them, had you willingly shared your light with them, the results would have been much more permanent.”

“No way,” the words fall from my lips in disbelief before Niall grants me a solemn gaze. Oh, wow, he’s not kidding. “But I’ve hit vampires with my light before and none of them became day walkers,” I recall, earning a small smile from my grandfather.

“To be granted the full benefits of a Fae’s light, one must first win said Fae’s heart, fully and truly,” he explains.

“So that’s why Bill was so determined to win me over,” I realize as everything suddenly so much more sense. “He was just using me, all this time, and for what? The chance to walk in the sun?” I find myself questioning, suddenly realizing just how cruel and heartless said man truly was.

“I’m afraid so,” Niall answers back, his head shaking. “I still haven’t figured out how he became privy to this information, I’m only relieved to know you are finally free of him,” he adds, placing his hands over my own, earning a weak smile from me.

“There’s something I still don’t understand, Grandfather,” I admit after a time, all this new information running through my mind. “What does all this have to do with Eric?” I question, watching as a wide smile breaks over my grandfather’s face.

“That, Sookie, I should think would be obvious, in fact, I believe you likely have the Viking to thank, as without him, Compton’s plan may very well have succeeded,” he insists, earning a small frown from me.

“You’re trying to imply that Eric is the one who truly holds my heart?” I question skeptically, earning only a shrug from my grandfather.

“It matters not what I say,” he says in turn. “You alone are privy to your heart’s truest desires,” he remarks, his pale eyes twinkling merrily.

“Hmph,” is all I say in return, earning me a low chuckle from the apparently amused Fae prince.

“You, my stubborn little granddaughter, are truly one of a kind, you know that?” he teases, bumping his shoulder against my own to earn a small smirk from me.

“Lucky me,” I deadpan, managing to elicit more laughter from my faerie grandfather.

“Feeling any better?” he questions once his laughter has died down a bit and I find that, yes, I really do feel at least marginally better, perhaps because things are finally at least better between the two of us.

“A bit, yeah,” I admit, just before Niall is pulling me into a tight hug.

“I’m always here, Sook, always,” he whispers softly, earning a grateful nod from me before he’s pulling away, a soft smile gracing his ethereal features. “Oh!” he remarks then, sending my brows up in surprise. “I almost forgot, I have something for you,” he tells me, digging into his pants pockets.

“For me?” I question, seeing him pull what appears to be a small compact from his pocket. My brows pinch, looking down to the odd trinket as Niall places it in my palm. “It’s warm,” I remark, tracing a finger over the jade green, glass surface.

“It was a gift given to your grandmother,” Niall enlightens me, earning a raised brow from me.

“Gran?” I question, finding myself absently stroking the warm trinket.

“Fintan gifted it to her, it’s rather beautiful, is it not?” he questions, a fond smile finding its way to his face. “The Cluviel Dor, a Fae token of love. It can grant its owner but one wish, one that must be made in true love,” he explains.

“And Gran never used it?” I question, seeing Niall shrug.

“Perhaps she never saw use for it,” he reasons to leave me nodding my understanding.

“I see,” I answer softly, my eyes falling to the mesmerizing jade trinket once more.

“You’ve been through much, my Sookie, so much turmoil, so much heartache and though I know nothing could ever make up for all you’ve lost, I hope this gift will bring you at least a fraction of the happiness you truly deserve,” he insists, his palms settling over my own as the start of grateful tears sting at the corners of my eyes.

“Thank you,” is the only thing I can say, grateful for this man’s reassuring place in my life.

“I feel I should warn you though, if you should choose to use this charm, just know your wish should not be made lightly. Some very potent magic went into creating it and its powerful enough even to hold dominion over death itself,” he informs me gravely, earning wide eyes from me. Wow, that’s…huge. A soft kiss upon my forehead then serves as my grandfather’s goodbye before he vanishes with a resounding pop and I find myself sitting, staring intently at the unassuming, yet incredibly powerful gift he left me.

One wish made in love, a wish powerful enough even to rule over death itself, just what could I possibly request? Would it even be worth the possible risks, considering just how powerful it is? And if so, what could ever even begin to make up for all the heartache I’ve suffered these last few years? I suppose I have a lot to think about.